Staying up late into the night watching out the window thinking of all of the people, places and things I love… One Republic’s ‘If I lose myself’ on replay.. And that’s where the inspiration for this blog came from..

A blur of memories both happy and sad.. That feeling of wanting to lose myself in all the goodness of life.. Lately everything’s been so…blah… Striving to rediscover life, experience it from a different angle, do some soul searching. Do the things I want to do. Be the things I want to be. Feel the things I want to feel. Lose myself to me (unlike the song where the singer wants to lose himself beside some “you”). I guess at one point we all get tired of people telling us what to think and what to feel.  

Then I realize. Outside this window is a world fast asleep, but deep inside, wishing to do the same.

  

Each of us would have, at some point in life, secretly wished for a super power. I definitely have but it kept varying from time to time due to a very strong influence of all those movies I watched. Sometimes I wanted to be a mutant like Jean Grey from the X-men, sometimes I wanted to be Wonder-woman (which I still want to) , and sometimes I wanted teleportation. But the strongest wish that held on through years is the one to fly. Fly with wings like a bird or without wings like superman I wouldn’t mind. Just the very thought of gliding across the clouds under the star-lit sky into the vastness of the horizons gives me the Goosebumps... All the places i could go to and all the nasty bus rides i could avoid and all the evil things i could do *evil grin*

 I’ve heard people say riding a bike or driving gives you a sense of freedom. A liberation from all that’s holding you back. Breaking free and choosing your path. Since I can do neither, I’m just gonna sit here for the time being an build castles in the air about all that I could do if I could fly.. 

Or maybe try some RedBull :P

Post Birthday Blues

So that’s another year closer to death like a friend of mine mentioned. Another year of experiences, mistakes and all the other related effects of everyday life that I’m going to leave behind. Missed the good old hostel days, the creative cakes and the midnight singing and, I must admit, the thrashing too. Missed what I would call an absolute Gastronomic delight at "karthik mess" (for those who don't know the place, well, it was our 5star hotel :P ). Today’s cake cutting party as well as the treat seemed like an obligation, for them to throw it as well as for me to attend it.

There are two things I’ve realized today. One is no-matter how hard you try to hold onto the past, life goes on. People move on. And you have to learn to live with it. Everything in life is a phase that will pass. Holding onto it would mean a tragic non-acceptance that leads to frustration which in turn leads to pissing off a lot of other people due to all the complaining and crankiness you show. Nobody likes to be a pillow! Nobody gives a damn either. How much can they take anyway..

The second is realizing how amazingly blessed I am. How God has been gracious enough to carry me through all the rough patches in life and walk by my side through all the good ones. I’m so blessed that complaining for what I don’t have would be a sin because there are so many right around me who would wish for half as much. Blessed beyond imagination.

I guess growing old is mandatory but i'm still waiting for enlightenment. 

Do I see some grey already ?? :O 

Man-kind??

They call us the manKIND..

Funny how that becomes one of the most inappropriate and hypocritical phrase I've heard..

We hear stories and sometimes experience little acts of kindness from a complete stranger that apparently restores faith and hope on this hopeless world..

But the bigger picture paints a mean and cruel world where mercy, sympathy and humanity is a luxury and proves what Darwin said decades ago..

Newspapers and all kinds of information devices bombard us everyday with proof so an explanation would be unnecessary.. But it becomes a habit for us to hunt for that little piece of good news which helps us appreciate ourselves a little more.. 

Man is a social animal so I guess survival of the fittest is indeed the right way to put it..

That makes man his own enemy.. Its no surprise mankind is after all not-so-kind..

Ironies of life :/

Have you ever noticed that when you're a pedestrian walking along and across the length and breadth of a road, those who choose to drive past you or honk at you are reckless morons without any road-sense.

Lets switch..

Now your'e at the steering wheel of a car driving past pedestrians walking along and across the length and breadth of a road; and suddenly they're all senseless idiots who can't see where they're going..

Ironic isn't it??

That ship has sailed he said...

Well i say go ahead my friend.. But i'll miss you..
And when you look back i'll be anchored right here..
Hoping that some day your ship might want to sail back :)

Winds of change..

I think its time to grow out of Perky Thoughts and all the pun related thereby..

So presenting to you.. Infinite Thoughts.. Same blog, same thoughts.. A little evolved.. :)

www.0infinitethoughts0.blogspot.in

Love- from the eyes of a cynic...

 Over the years we've all come to know Love. There are different forms to it I agree. But I'm talking solely about the one that we have taken a day off the calender to blow up red balloons and gift red roses to acknowledge (The very day I reckon might in the near future classify to be an International holiday if you'd let - says a most cynical me! ). We've read and deciphered various definitions of it by hordes of people trying to explain this peculiar form of emotion in what they call simple terms. People write books about Love which they say define this state of mind called 'being in Love'. Some even tend to offer solutions to anybody with an aching heart. But is it really that simple? Or is it the most demanding frame of mind anybody could be in?

Some say Love is divine and magical and it demands sacrifice and patience and selfless gestures and tolerance and all the other synonyms that is known to mankind and also a lot of hurt and pain and that you only hurt when you're truly in Love. Contradicting and most interesting as it is, some say if it hurts it can't be Love.. I say that's more than enough to confuse someone like me. We all experience Love at some point in life- the familiar longing to see, hear, feel and just be involved. I had a professor of mine recently tell me that everything might look all rosy and splendid at the beginning but things aren't always what they seem to be. Though he said that on a completely different context I've come to experience that it is perfectly applicable here as well.

I've seen Love that has lasted for years I've also seen years of it falling apart on a fine day. How did that happen? Does love cease to exit? Do people run out of Love? Does Love have a past tense called 'Loved'? Is it really such a mysterious emotions or do we complicate it with all the needless drama?

Though the cynical part of me would rather jump off a cliff i have to agree that Love is beyond age and all possible human boundaries. And it is one of the strongest emotions that drives us to do the wildest imaginable things in life. It conquers and enslaves us to concede to its demands. It takes you as high as ecstasy and mercilessly lets you fall the height destroying your ability to reason.

Love hurts but it heals as well.. Love demands but it gives as well.. 

Love.. The most mysterious emotion I've ever endured..

Love.. Because beneath every cynic is a frustrated romantic..

The Last Prayer..

Tonight,

I leave with a broken heart, and a body that’s torn apart.

Bidding goodbye to life and all the dreams that kept me alive.

I am woman and that’s the sin I’m paying for, that’s why I have to leave,

because life has become so hard for me to live.

I’m sorry ma I couldn’t stay longer, but this pain I can take no longer.

Wishes and dreams flash before my eyes, of all that was and all that could have been.

They’re all so distant now like the far blue sky.

Memories flash by, oh what I would give to not say goodbye.

Tell my friends I’ll miss them ma, and tell them to miss me too.

Tell the world my story ma, cause nobody deserves to go like this.

And when I’m done this world will move on.

And forget me like a nightmare from the past.

I’ll be just a story in old paper stalls drowned in candy floss.

You don’t forget me ma, I want to live through you,

and see this world in light and all new.

I’ll close my eyes keeping a prayer alight

That someday I come back into this world, as a different soul maybe, I wouldn’t mind.

I wish to be born again to live all that I’m leaving behind.

But oh cruel world will you let a woman survive?